Jan
28
OH HELL NO!
Jan
27
MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM! PHONE!
Jan
25
Oh my god, so today, I lived through one of the best experiences of my life. I met 5 of my comedy idols: the Whitest Kids U Know.
I can’t even describe how great it was. They were all so hilarious, and for lack of a better phrase, “down to earth”. With the amount of asshole comedy we hear from these guys, they are actually the most humble and sweetest men EVER. I mean, we even met Sam at the mall BEFORE the show! And so after the show, we were known as the “mall buddies”, with future plans of shoe shopping on Friday.
The show itself was awesome, too. Unfortunately I’m dorky and knew every single skit alreeeaadddy, but I seriously don’t care.
Anyway, long story short, one of the best days of my life because I got to be happier with my mouth open with every member of this wonderful troupe (it was even a request when taking our photos with Darren and Trevor :3).
awww
In the summer time, when the world feels new, I’d love to come along and spend the day with you. We can hang out at the lake or ride a bike for two, and say ha-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha!
weird the stripper
hot
“I said KITTY porn! Like with kittens!”
Trevor, Great Grandmas sketch (via wkukquotes)
Jan
24
- Pimp: It's whore-ible what happened to her!
- Nurse: Yes, it is horrible.
- Pimp: No no no, it's WHORE-ible what happened to her.
- Nurse: Yes, I get it, sir. She's a working girl - now look, she has been bruised up pretty badly.
- Pimp: She looks WHORE-ific!
- Nurse: Sir, I get it. Whore. Now can you please answer some questions so we can understand how to treat her.
- Pimp: It's WHORE-d to understand how something like this could happen.
- Nurse: Sir, please!
- Pimp: I told her not to go out tonight, and I knew it was going to be dangerous. You see, this morning I read her WHORE-oscope.
- Nurse: Can you at least tell me her name?
- Pimp: Her name was Cindy and she'd been working with me for about a year. She was going to leave this fall and go to state university. You see, she wanted to study WHORE-ticulture.
- Nurse: Wow, you really went out of your way for that one...
- Pimp: Some of the cuts were vertical and some where WHORE-izontal!
- Nurse: Oh sir, please?!
- Pimp: She looks like she's been dragged behind a WHORE-se!
- Nurse: Look, she's very weak right now.
- Pimp: I know, I was trying to get her to eat something but she wouldn't eat anything. Not an entree, or dessert, not even any WHORE-d'oeuvres! All she would eat in the car was a pack of old WHORE-reos!
- Nurse: Sir!
- Pimp: Is she bruised up pretty bad?
- Nurse: I told you yes!
- Pimp: Bet she has some nasty charlie WHORE-ses!
- Nurse: Sir!
- Pimp: It's WHORE-rific! I don't have a lotta room in my car when I brought her here, you see - I drive a P-WHORE-sche!
- Nurse: Sir, please!
- Pimp: Is she upset?
- Nurse: Yes!
- Pimp: Maybe I should cheer her up! I'll play her a prosti-TUNE on my WHORE-monica!
- Nurse: *slaps pimp's face*
- Pimp: BITCH!
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